


Does Love Sucks?

by sunnysunday



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Choi Soobin and Huening Kai, How Do I Tag, Light Angst, M/M, Only the two of them, Were they are bad at feelings? Have a good day!, Wiwowholoveangsttoo?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:07:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25600315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunnysunday/pseuds/sunnysunday
Summary: He does not know what he meant by the word, "love" but everything was not in their right places — they were both falling — eventually, both got crashed down.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Huening Kai
Kudos: 6





	Does Love Sucks?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!

Falling was like the feeling of being pinned down to the ground and you could not make an idea on how to stand up because the pressure was too much for you to fight back.

But, what if you can hold back still you don't want to hold back? You can stand up and not be a burrito in bed for the whole day and still you end up being a burrito. And falling for someone was just like that, you want to stop, to hold back and in the end you fell anyway. It was him, that was Kai — he fell on the hole of the rabbit, rabbit's hole. 

Maybe it would be easier for him to get up but the latter won't let him to, especially his stupid and fragile heart. It would be easy if the older will let go of him — let go of his lips. Temptations were in everything and his temptation was in front of him, busy crashing and wrecking his lips. His soft and heart lips was on his own's. It may be too corny but the feeling of being on the cloud nine was what Kai was feeling at the moment. He does wanted to stop, wanted to get rid of his lips, wanted to stop how his heart was beating too fast, wanted to — just wanted everything to stop before anything could go wrong. 

Too late, it was a mess now.

It was like a knife was pierced on his heart, yes the feeling of holding him was an opportunity he has but it was wrong. The idea of living the best out of him with him stung on his head. And still, wrong. 

He was not his and Soobin was not his. 

"Stop." 

Does he really wanted to? No. 

Soobin looked at him, straight on the eyes. He was lost just like him, they were both lost. Lost at the moment, lost for each other. 

"What do you mean by stop?" 

Kai hated how Soobin's lips was too tempting, waiting just for his lips, it was like its inviting him — waiting for his to connect with it. Too tempting and he hated it.

"Stop," he stopped, fighting how strong and  
intimidating Soobin's eyes — staring at his own's eyes that was feeling weak from his gaze. "Stop crushing at me, stop holding me like you own me, stop kissing me, stop! Just stop." 

Kai was shaking, from the way how his heart was beating and from the way how Soobin's mouth goes upwards, smirking at him. 

"Make me stop, then." 

He widened his eyes. 

"Are you crazy?!" asked and yelled Kai.

Soobin was really going into his nerves. He really was, Kai hated everything about him, and the way he was smirking at him. Kai was really fighting the urge to just kiss away that smirk on Soobin's lips. He. Hated. It. 

Soobin was pressing him between his body and the wall, suddenly, he placed his both hands on Kai's side, he was looking at Kai with his dark and intimidating eyes. 

"Yes, crazy for you." said Soobin, followed by a low and still soft chuckled. 

Kai was losing his patient and just wanted to punch Soobin. 

"You really like to makes my day get worse, huh? Then, good, Soobin, you are the best." blurted Kai sarcastically. 

"Just tell and admit to me that you liked it, Kai. You like how to feel my lips on yours." 

Kai's mouth agape.

"Shame on you! You got the dry and bitter lips, Soobin." remarked Kai. 

He pushed Soobin away from him, staring at his eyes once more before walking away. He shut his eyes when he heard the older laughed. 

"As if you've kissed another's lips, Kai. Not to mention, I am your first kiss, baby." 

Soobin let the most irritating and loud laugh he has, making Kai burned from where he was standing.  
His first kiss that he does not wanted to have with Soobin, and still it does happened. That first kiss where everything goes wrong and crazy.

Choi Soobin, that person with a bunny smile and heart lips, Kai hated to admit but he fell. Oh, right, the one and only Choi Soobin — the one who has his heart.  
Kai turned around only welcomed by Soobin who was smiling at him. As much as he hated his smiling face no one could deny, Soobin was ethereal, too beautiful, too mesmerizing that it got Kai. 

Kai let out his laugh and he was wishing it would hurt Soobin's ears. 

"Ha! How dare you to say that to me, Soobin?" asked Kai, pausing for a moment. Letting the cold wind of the night embraced himself. "You are not my first kiss!" 

Soobin stepped forward towards him, he was walking too smoothly, and Kai's heart rugged at the moment. In one snap of a finger, Soobin was in front of him — face-to-face — he smelled like a honey — too sweet. Kai could not maintain how intimidating Soobin was. Just by looking at his eyes it makes Kai weakened, he was loosing his power onto Soobin, letting himself be drawn. 

"I am not believing you, Kai." 

Soobin's voice was low that it sent shivers down Kai's spine and more way colder than the night. 

"I was not forcing you to believe in me, Soobin." fought back Kai. 

Soobin shrugged. 

"Just admit it, Kai, so it won't hurt anymore," insisted Soobin, leaning down to place his head on Kai's ears, using his voice — the voice that was not failing to send shivers on Kai. "I am your first," Kai swore Soobin smiled even if he could not see his face. "And gonna be your last." followed Soobin. 

Orange, peach, pink, violet, blue, red! Kai could not maintain this anymore. Everything was burning, his ears, his face, his body, his surroundings, the sky above them and the stars, the moon, and his heart. 

"What—" he was being shut by Soobin's action. 

Soobin's huge hands was holding him, even if the tension was too much and their surroundings was being burned down, Soobin was holding him like he was a fragile vase. 

"Don't try to stop what you are feeling, Kai. You don't have to be scare, I am ready to catch you no — I am ready to fall with you, we'll both fall and will catch each other." 

Nope, nope — they would not catch each other. 

Because the moment they will touch the ground, from the peak of the hill, they were both broken already. 

"I can't, Soobin and you can't." 

Kai saw the pain lingered on Soobin's eyes. 

Suddenly, everything was feeling cold. The fire was not there anymore. The big waves landed on them, they could not make it, even if they try it just could not happen.

"You love me and I love you, Kai. What is the matter with that?" 

Only if that was easy but it wasn't. 

"Love is not enough, Soobin. We were not made for each other."

"Scratch that, Kai. Even if we're not made for each other, I am yours." 

Kai, for once again backed away. Hoping to anything to interrupt them, to stop this. And he will do that, if there was no one who will it be? It was only him. 

What has lied beneath the heart was not enough. They were both falling and still both crashed down.

"You are not mine and even if I have the chance to have you I would not grab it, Soobin. I don't have not to love you just to don't have you. Even if I love you still I don't want it, I don't want to make you mine. No one own's you, Soobin, and so I am."

"I'm giving you all I have, Kai—"

"I didn't ask for it, Soobin. So stop, will you please stop? Let's just stop."

Soobin smiled at him then nodded. 

"Okay, I'll stop, we'll stop, you asked for this then okay," Kai still hated how Soobin's face was smiling at him while his eyes were showing the opposite. "I love you but I thought you'd let me, Kai."

It was like watching your own self being crashed down with the person you love, it hurts and the pang of pain will linger. No matter what you will do, it the scene was not yours, you cannot do anything but just to watch it go away. Leave its own self and still, the pain was there, sitting on the edge, waiting for time to heal only to leave mark. 

Love sucks? No, people sucks.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this without planning anything which is why it ended that way (I know, I know, forgive me, I do not also know why I am asking for forgiveness, but yeah, anyways, have a good day!)
> 
> PS. Let's keep it PG hehe (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧


End file.
